Unbound Binding

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Welcome to the latest Tarot Blog Hop hosted by Jay Cassels, who has set the theme

Sometimes you think you’re randomly laying down cards in idleness… Just placing a few images to get a feel for a new deck but experience tells me that cards don’t seem to get the ‘keep it casual’ memo or maybe they do but they skim read it as ‘keep it causal’… Who knows? What I do know is that when I lay these cards down recently, I was jolted into a full attention. The rune meanings were relevant to current situations but I saw loudly another level of meaning… A flashback to my childhood past and the ever present threat of violence I grew up with and the lesson bestowed of  If you want to stay safe, stay silent!

I’m a big believer in having healthy boundaries at my reading table and keeping my personal history off of the table. After all people come to discuss them not me. However, like all good rules, there are times when you make an exception and there’s value to be found in momentarily pushing the cards to one side and sharing things you’ve learnt through mundane personal experiences. Today I feel is such a day for that kind of sharing…

Today on the day of this blog going live, is the day of my Father’s funeral. A funeral unattended by me.

I last spoke to my father in 2012. It was July or maybe August? The exact date eludes me as I didn’t instantly recognise that day as being pivotal and I thought that after a few days, he’d work out that it’s not OK to barge into people’s houses uninvited and unannounced… And also that maybe he’d work out that if you’ve done that and caught someone walking around fully stark naked then maybe just maybe it’s understandable that they’re not too happy to see you in that moment and maybe just maybe calling them a crazy fucking bitch and refusing to acknowledge they have every right to be upset about the invasion of their privacy, is not the best way to go…

Anyway… It was kind of embarrassing and although many people profess that they could have died from embarrassment, I’m not entirely sure that’s there’s any hard evidence to prove that anyone actually has… And obviously I’m still not dead and I’m here to tell the tale…

The last time I saw my mother was October 14th 2011. That date is indelibly wedged in my mind and I full on recognised that day as being the absolute last time I would see her. Being sprawled across the bonnet of someone’s car after they’ve deliberately driven into you, has a very fast way of focusing your mind into recognising that the relationship has hit irreconcilable differences and it’s best to cut loose and move on…

All the best things come in threes. My trifecta came in the wake of my Father’s death with my sister stepping up to wonderfully illustrate that the apple never falls far from the tree and I gratefully embraced her FUCK YOU and marked down June 1st 2022 as the day I was finally and fully removed from the family I was born into.

I was very happy to just quietly move on with my life but then things took an unfortunate turn when Aunty Gollum (as my ex sister is now affectionately known) decided to shoot her mouth off online…

She chose the interWeb as her weapon of choice… I chose old school Web…

Now crafting bind runes is a tricky task… For example, when you talk about a bind rune for protection, one of the runes that comes instantly to mind is Thurisaz (the thorn). This felt in this instance to be inappropriate. Yes, indeed I was looking at a thorny issue but also dealing with some one poised to strike and to throw the energy of Thurisaz into that situation… Well chances are they would feel that energy as an attack and strike back harder…

I waited…

Aunty Gollum took up battle with my eldest son… She repeatedly accused him of being brainwashed by me. She told him that I’d misinterpreted my childhood and my version did not exist. She told him how hurt both her and my father were with all the stories I’d invented…

I weary sighed not knowing really how to answer such allegations. How do you prove things in the past beyond a my word vs theirs?

I don’t often offer up prayers but exasperated I muttered under my breath Gods help me! My head fell totally silent and then I heard a quiet, far off voice whisper to me messenger… Go back and read…

Wow! What a stash I found!

I sent several screenshots to my son. Not all of them, just a few of the most recent. The entirety goes back for 3years and the contents of those conversations currently sit in a 192 page pdf…

OK so being only human, I did toy with the idea of emailing a bunch of people the pdf with a note along the lines of There you go! Knock yourself out and draw your own conclusions… Instead, I went back to the runes knowing now I was free to start binding the situation…

Two runes set with intention that May the truth come to light

So there’s my mystical protection… With a side order of knowing we all sow the seeds of our own destruction…

My mundane, push the cards to one side, advice on protection is Never delete anything, screenshot everything.

I have no intention of offering up my own side of the full story. Certainly not unsolicited… Though should I be directly asked by anyone who’s name appears in Aunty Gollum’s messages then I’m happy to hand over both sides of the conversation and for those mentioned to judge for themselves.

Silence is oft quoted as being golden and I used to think that that was the glib words of those who’ve never experienced abuse… Now I think maybe it means silent screenshots speak louder arguing…

Moving forward I accept the gifts bestowed by my birth family and I’m thankful that the greater gift is the family I’ve birthed, that has broken free to branch out in healthier ways.

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