Refound Reading 2

This morning I smile… Mr S over the years has often commented that he thinks I’m a time traveller visiting from the future… He’s noticed I have an uncanny ability to speak about something that will appear in the news a week or so later, or that I have ideas that I shelf and forget then 10 years later similar things are out there everywhere…

I tell him that’s nonsense, I’m not a time traveller (well yes, I am, but no more than anyone else as by default, we’re all time travellers). I tell him, no, it’s not time travel, it’s observation and extrapolation… Seeing what you see and remembering things forwards instead of backwards…

This morning I’m smiling because I refound a reading and I, for half a second, wonder if he is right. Certainly at the time of reading, it had a little resonance for me, but now in lockdown and possibly on the cusp of entering the new normal, whatever that may be, it’s taken on a more full bodied flavour…

I spent the solstice out walking with C, the creative co-conspirator of the D. O. I say walking, it was mostly sitting and chatting, bantering, pondering, conversations with swans and dragonflies… We realised how much we’d missed each other of late and conversation flowed into how having all the extra thinking time gave clarity on so many things in life… We smiled at the things we were glad to be rid of and smiled more at the return of things that we’d thought had been lost… In these lists of things, I threw in hugging!

Hugging! I’m not a huggy type person unless I’m in hugging mood. One of my bugbears in life is ubiquitous hugs. I’ve always lived double lives one way or another, one foot in mundane activities and the other in holistic worlds. Obviously, there is huge overlap between the two but the differences between the two are in my mind, best shown in attitudes to hugging…

In blogging terms… Hugs can feel like that like you get when you’ve just posted 1000+words and the like ping arrives in the middle of the two second gap between pressing publish and hearing the ping of post live. Yeah, right 🤣🤣🤣 you like my post that you’ve obviously not read but clicked on hoping for a reciprocal ding and follow…

In the for want of a better phrase ‘love and light’ realm, hugging is overly present. I don’t like it, much in the same way that I don’t like buying gifts for the sake of gift buying because it’s a specified day to do so. I like late/early spontaneous Christmas presents in mid-July because hey! I saw this and I knew you’d love it!

Love and light hugs are rarely sincere expressions of sentiments… Often facades of niceness… Seldom genuine and frequently some kind of passive aggression… Oh… And if you decline or swerve the unsolicited pseudo affections, then it’s taken as being a sign of something much more than I’m just not in the mood for hugging… You’re obviously defective rather than discerning…

In my mundane world, with people who I genuinely like on so many levels, we rarely hug. Something major has to happen, something where there’s no words to fully express… Mostly we trade fond insults and recognise that if someone’s never called you a cunt in jest then they most probably don’t like you. We don’t hug to bond, we join together in bawdy ballad. We blow off bad days with a rousing chorus so we return home sane!

So yeah, lockdown has most certainly split my world into two camps for hugging… You self-righteous fuckers who can fuck right off over there and then fuck right off some more… And those gloriously imperfect, loveable bastards left, who I will bear hug to within an inch of their life when it spontaneously feels good to do so.

It was odd to be out with C, with space between us. We didn’t observe 2m but the roughly 1m felt like a chasm… Usually we’re very much in each others space when we meet, trading readings or healings or massage… Or as when foraging for images for the D. O., laying side by side in long grass sharing one set of earphones as shamanic beats pulsed us on our way to travels in other worlds… By the time it came to parting ways, ‘fuck social distancing’ was declared and we hugged a few seconds turned timestoodstilleternity. We wondered what people would think of our PDA then laughed as we recalled the Jehovah’s Witness who had called one day whilst I was visiting her house and who assumed we were a couple… Ah, it’s OK, people will just think we’re a Mrs & Mrs and we’re fine with that.

Oh? My refound reading you ask? Yup, shit, I almost forgot about that! At the time, it felt like a small scale personal reading. Though I wonder if there really is such a thing as a personal reading… Maybe personal in that particular micro moment but holographic in nature… A tiny portion of a much bigger picture…a minuscule speck that somehow holds the entirety of all that is, was and ever will be? I dunno… What I do know from years of readings is that faces change, the stories say the same… Maybe not exactly the same, but fundamentally… Like cupcakes… Sponge, frosting and sprinkles… All basically the same ingredients but each slightly differing. Anyway, today the reading returned and felt to be less personal and more on a wider scale of social commentary and signs of the Times… So… Whoop! Catch! There you go…

The strange sensation that exists… sitting in the liminal space… an invisible but felt boundary as you cross from old memories into going out to create new ones…
There are things you will miss… but the absence of certain things, is something that you will enjoy more…