Memory Paused

Today, photos and memories appear and remind me that this time last year, I was by the sea… It never ceases to amaze me that I set down roots at the point that is furthest inland… furthest from the crash of waves, from the crunch of shells beneath feet, from the crisp air that zings my senses…

I guess maybe it’s because when I did live by the sea for 3 years, I did little more than watch the tides roll in and out all day…

I miss the coast, don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy where I am but city air blowing through your hair just somehow doesn’t speak to my soul in the same way…

Today I miss the coast more as I know it’s off limits and I don’t know until when… I’d planned a short escape for mid-July, but the possibility of that happening flits yes/no/maybe/yes/no/maybe… It’s like watching that wobbly spin that coins do just before they land and reveal heads or tails…

Annoyingly (doubly so for someone who takes so many photos), I have very few of the sea… I guess it’s because when I’m there I’m very present in the present and I fool myself into thinking that the moment will last forever… That I’ll never forget how it feels to just be…

I skim through old photos and there’s very few of keepsake memories… Mostly it’s a log of my ideas… Things for projects, prompts for writing… Images to stir manifestations…

Today I find a photo of Mr S. It’s a very rare one, usually he gets deleted as he thwarts my attempts to catch him as I feel him, by gurning goofy faces at me as soon as I point in his direction… But just this once, I caught him unawares… I see his face and I recall why I settled inland and just for a while, I forget that I miss the sea…