Waxtober 9

Today’s waxing reminded me of Waxtober 3 which is kind of ha ha funny to me as Waxtober 3 was about getting rid of old items and associated memories… Though this waxing didn’t feel to be about returning to those old memories, it felt more like a postcard from the sea, to let me know that the sideways tides and fericious winds had now subsided and the item was washed well away… I see in the bottom left, a now calm sea… The burnt umber colour in the foreground brings overlapping images to me of butterfly wings, Autumn leaves, strong muscles, discarded dragonfly casts… Lots of overlapping images with cascading thoughts that I need to left drift through and muse over in my own time rather than try to find some kind of linear narrative right here and now… Writing stream of conciousness is one thing… multiple streams… my fingers and typing skills can’t keep pace…

I’m often a messy person when I work… It used to annoy me… Now, I guess that it’s just the way that I am. My workspace refuses to stay clean and orderly much in the same way that my hair refuses to stay brushed, and the way my clothes rearrange themselves around me at will… There’s a part of me that would love to be effortlessly elegant though seems my natural state is to mostly look like I’ve just been dragged through a bush backwards… Sometimes that’s a good look! Sometimes people tell me I look like I’m dressed to kill and I smile and try to keep my mouth shut and pass off my fleeting moment of being stylish as something that was intentional… Why am I telling you this? Oh, because somehow or another whilst waxing the front of the paper, I haphazardly managed to create an image on the reverse…

The photo is so so… There are lots and lots of images hidden in the silver that the camera and the light have failed to capture or maybe kept secret and for my eyes only… Though the image I see clearly and boldly is of a clownfish… That amuses me…As for sure, I am a bit of a clown (allegedly)… Though the clownfish has lots of interesting quirks that make useful analogies and interesting thoughts to ponder over… Whilst thinking about clownfish traits, I remembered the first thing that had popped up in my newsfeed this morning…

Clownfish and jellyfish… Hmmm… an interesting misconception (maybe in part due to a scene in Finding Nemo?) is that Clownfish are immune to jellyfish. Nope… Clownfish are immune to their host anemone partially due to a thin layer of mucus that covers them but also due to a resistance developed over time due to repeated stings… Stung by a Jellyfish, the effect may be lessened by the muscus layer but it’s a new poision that the Jellyfish is not accustomed to…

I’ve had many conversations with my sister over the years. We grew up in a toxic environment where poisonous barbs were on the menu constantly… We both got used to being repeatedly stung… We both adapted in our own ways to not keep feeling that pain… My layer of mucus was developing a sense of humour… My sister’s mucus – well, that’s not for me to tell. Both of us found different ways, though we both agree that being raised by the barb leaves you with an unhelpful weakness of not moving fast enough out of the way of stings that are flung from outside sources… It’s easy to fool yoursef that you’re immune… It’s good to forget some things and some old stories… It’s not so good to not notice the lessons they hold for you… Lessons, those are the things you need to remember… Learn and move on… no need for resits…

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