Today a package arrives, inside is a tarot deck. I’m not naming it as on the whole I am super chuffed with it BUT G’ah! I opened up the LWB and I find one of those Tarot Myths that make my teeth itch…
To paraphrase – You’re not ready to work with your new cards until you’ve slept with them under your pillow for at least 3 days…
OK, so I have several issues with this…
Me making it to bed 3 days consecutively is becoming more and more of a rarity. On the nights I don’t head there, I can pretty much guarantee Mr S has sprawled himself across my side, so hmm… I guess the cards will bond to him rather than me? Do they imprint like new born ducklings? Will I lose my new brood?
On the nights I do get to bed… It’s rarely for sleep… Do I want to risk giving my cards PTSD resulting from a TMI overload?
I’ve accidentally fallen asleep many times deck in hand on the sofa and cussed in the wee hours as I try to round the cards back up and unbend the creases so they’re not that fucked up that I can read the whole deck from the buckled backs… Do I willfully want to maul my deck as I slumber?
But mostly this Myth annoys me because it’s how should I politely put it… Hmmm… Because its complete and utter bollox!
OK, if it works for you, then it works for you. In that instance I’m very happy for you. Carry on!
The real reason I don’t like these kind of myths is because it puts people off of reading, before they even start…
I’m a fucker for just throwing myself into things and often I’ll crack open a new deck at a gig and read without even giving the cards a cursory once through. Admittedly I have regretted this once, albeit fleetingly as I set free the Golden Tarot and found myself clunge deep in strawberry blonde, hard to tell apart Court cards… I say fleetingly because there’s nothing quite like a surge of adrenalin when faced with a long queue waiting and a touch of terror to kick your reading skills into next level thinking on your feet, accompanied by some freakishly good psychic hits 🤣
Basically, fuck duvet divination! If you want to connect with your cards, don’t sleep on them… Bloody well read with them! And if you feel out of your depth then good, that means you’re learning!
A colleague of mine told me recently that he’s probably the strongest swimmer I’ll ever meet. I smiled at that boast, wondering if it may be unfounded, so I asked him to elaborate. He told me about his childhood, his trips between mainland and an island, and his inability to sit his ass down still inside the small fishing boat. He told me how every trip he’d fall overboard and his uncles would laugh as he’d thrash and sink and bob up gulping for air before he sank again making little froggy style kicks under the water to try and resurface. He asked me –
Karen, those guys are my fam! Why didn’t they save me?
Maybe because you’re pretty fucking annoying and you never sit still?
Karen?! I’m annoying?!
Abs Man! Stop fucking bouncing! Is that door locked? Don’t fall out of my car, you can’t sink under tarmac, you’ll splat! Did you ever complete a boat trip without falling in?
No! I learnt to swim. Man I’m a strong STRONG swimmer, but what a way to learn. What do you think?
I think I might write something called Tough Love and Drowning… What do you think?
The pure and blessed way 