Keine Ahnung

I’m not one to jump on bandwagons but hey in the madness that is #mockdown, maybe this one is just too good to miss…

There’s a hilarious in all the wrong ways trend that keeps crossing my path. I’m not entirely sure why it’s happening but I guess somebody out there started a rumour that tarot reading for a living is easy money… So easy in fact that you need zero skills nor experience. All you have to do is toss a word salad of random waffle filled with promises of outstanding, life changing results without indicating exactly what it is you’ll do… Blah blah promises vaguely worded but with faux smiles and deep stares into webcam calling out to connect to lost souls, inciting seekers to bleed unto them their dollars… Oh and the best bit, the less knowledge you have, the more you charge! Amazing… I guess the pricing guidelines are something along the lines of Google an actual recognised expert and then place at least one zero on the end of their prices or two zeroes if you really want to drive home the importance of buying crap as an investment in yourself…

Anyway, I’m not one to shun a bright idea. So I thought hmm… Maybe I should take up a brand new career also!

So… Anyway, I’ve spent the last two weeks learning German on Duolingo which I guess could arguably make me over qualified for this new wave of blagging gigs… But hey… Let’s give it a blast anyway…

For just £99.99 a week, I will connect with you for a 10 min V. I. P. live webcam session and if you stick with me long enough, I will if you are prepared to make the necessary commitment and effort, I will eventually one day turn you into a fluent speaker of German!

Bookings are strictly limited to one session per week as obliviously I need to stay one lesson ahead of you but I promise you, it will be a life changing experience for both of us!

Ja, ich bin eindeutig bonkers! Gib mir dein Geld! 

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