Waxtober 22

Today’s waxing fills me with laughter! I see a gravestone… the phrase for today has been – Thank God that’s over and done with!

The last few months of my life have been filled with bugbears and beyond Brazil levels of bureaucracy… Under the old normal, things that would have been moderately inconvenient turned, under lockdown, into being farce after farce of paperwork issues, delays, glitches, technical gremlins etc. etc. etc. On the plus side, I’ve probably been a little more creative than usual as keeping my fingers busy is a good way of holding on to my marbles…

One of my situations has taken up excessive amounts of time, energy, patience, and money… Finally everything is completed today and I no longer have the low level background anxiety running that says time is running out to sort this before things get worse and possibly end up with legal hassles as well… It’s done! It’s dusted! The door on that chapter is closed… And woo hoo! My mind is clear and I feel my energy surge as I gear up for getting stuck into something that I’m excited about and which I’ll probably lose myself in and vanish away hours as if by magic… Just for good measure, two new notebooks bought specifically for this project arrived today…

Now this whole situation was brought about my own absent-minded stupidity… Another plus side of this event and ripple out repurcussions is that I’ve had plenty of time to think about how to avoid repeating my mistake… Time to switch a few things around, put in a few rules and strategies… Time to note the circumstances that lead me into trouble… To be mindful of when x happens I’m likely to do y which leads to z and z is not where I want to go… Z is massive ballache… So today I’ve written down my action plan to keep myself on the ball… You can’t control everything in life but I do have the ability to coast forward to reduce my odds of arriving at z…

I turn over the page… Oh… It’s another day that I’ve managed to wax on the back as well…

It reminds me of shale and scree slides… Oh… Let it all slip away… As I’m thinking that, there’s a knock at my door… The solution to another ongoing problem has arrived. Now with the best will in the world, this problem is one that I can’t fix myself, but it’s been niggling away fanning the flames of my Virgo hell and taking up too many thoughts… The problem is not fixed today but it’s delegated over to a heating engineer… Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a big thing but seriously, heating engineers that turn up are a rare breed and harder to find than rocking horse shit… So as far as I’m concerned the problem is now signed off as I’m paying someone else to worry about this. .. Yup… All those layers of useless thoughts can just slip slide away…

I think about the two problems and things I can fix and things I can’t fix… Things I can avoid… I think about a 3rd problem that’s been hanging in the background… Hmm… I could fix it… If I really wanted to… Do I want to? N’ah not really… It’s a problem that’s best left to die off of its own accord… With hindsight it’s obvious that it was a tombstone stood atop a screeslide of shale… What’s that phrase? parable? about building castles on shaky ground? Something like that…

I look again at the front of the page and instead of a tombstone, I now see an arched door… I guess it’s a day for old adages… As one door closes another door opens…

Death… Life… Life and Death… Those old inseparable bedfollows… C’est la vie… Et c’est la mort… Tout va bien qui se termine…

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